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跨性別女子的競選小贏 卻是巴西跨性別社群的大勝利

Indianara during a protest asking for the ousting of current Brazilian president, Michel Temer | Photo: Indianara Siqueira/Facebook/Used with permission

印嘉娜拉現身在要求巴西現任總統米歇爾·特梅爾(Michel Temer)下台的抗議活動 | 圖片來源: 印嘉娜拉-席格拉(Indianara Siqueira)的Facebook/經同意使用

近年來,巴西在跨性別者遭殺害的數字上可恥地領先世界各國。根據「歐洲跨性別組織(Transgender Europe)」的研究,巴西跨性別者遭殺害的數字比起名單上位居第二的墨西哥還要多出四倍,比起位居第三的美國還要多出八倍。在一份由巴伊亞(Bahia,巴西26州之一)的同志人權組織所做的獨立研究中顯示,巴西在2015年至少有318位屬於LGBT族群(女同志、男同志、雙性戀、跨性別)的民眾遭殺害,這其中有37%,也就是有117位是跨性別者。

21世紀的巴西跨性別者平均壽命是30歲。比較起來,巴西人民平均壽命是75歲。巴西國內完全沒有任何保障LGBT族群免於歧視的法律。在仇恨犯罪的定義裡,既沒有涵蓋針對性傾向、亦沒有涵蓋針對性別認同的行為,而在警方報告裡也找不到這兩項類別,也就讓倡議者或非營利組織難以搜集數據。對從事性工作維生的跨性別者而言生存更是難上加難。 

在這困難重重的生存環境裡,一名45歲的跨性別女子讓世界一窺跨性別者活在巴西是什麼狀況。2016年10月2日,印嘉娜拉-席格拉(Indianara Siqueira)代表左翼小黨「社會主義自由黨(Partido Socialismo e Liberdade ,PSOL)」參選里約熱內盧的地方選舉。她得到6,166票的支持,並在地方議會贏得一席「候補(alternate seat,6名指定候補,以防第一順位當選者過世或是因任何原因必須放棄職位)」。印嘉娜拉決定在臉書上分享她的生命故事作為慶祝並邀請支持者來參加一月份的就職典禮,。至本原文上稿前,她的貼文已累計超過3,100個讚以及超過700個分享。

印嘉娜拉生於巴西軍事獨裁期間(1964-1985)的巴拉那瓜(Paranaguá),一個位於南方巴拉那州(Paraná)的中型城市。她從12歲起開始使用荷爾蒙。16歲時她離開了祖母的家。滿20歲前她已經遭受過強暴—是她當時居住在聖保羅(São Paulo)一個小型寄宿處的一名警察所為。

印嘉娜拉詳細描述了她自己和其他像她一樣的人被迫忍受的殘忍生存條件。

Fui pra Santos,afinal como diz a canção:La miseré est plus légere au soleil (A miséria é mais leve no sol).

Lá dormindo na rua conheci as Travestis putas que me acolheram e me deram um poste onde trabalhar na esquina.De masseira e pizzaiola,me tornei puta.

Quase todos os dias éramos levadas pelo Francês ( Polícia Civil) entre outres,ou Abreu ( PM) entre outros PMs pra delegacia.Apanhavamos por existir.Eramos jogadas no camburão e em viaturas como lixo que não pode nem ser reciclado.Eramos colocadas no muro do coliseu de Santos e tínhamos amoníaco espirrado na cara.Aquilo queimava olho ,mucosa da boca.So que quando eles iam puxar o amoníaco,puxavam também o revólver e se vc corresse eles atiravam.Vc suportava o amoníaco te queimar enquanto eles riam.As vezes faziam vc achar que iam fuzilar todas..Vc aprende o dia do plantão dos teus algozes,mas não pra fugir deles e sim se preparar psicologicamente pra ser torturada por eles.Voce tinha que sobreviver.Mas vc saia pronta pra morrer.

I moved to Santos, after all, as the song says: La miseré est plus légere au soleil (Misery is lighter under the sun).

There, while sleeping in the streets, Imet transvestites working as prostitutes who sheltered me and gave me a lamp post on a street corner where I could work. From a baker and pizza maker, I became a whore.

Almost everyday, we were taken by the “Frenchman” (an investigative officer), among others, by Abreu (a military policeman), among other military policemen, to the police station. We were beaten up because we existed. We were thrown into the police cars and vans as if we were garbage that couldn’t be recycled. We were lined up against the wall of the Santos’ Coliseum Theater and we had ammonia splashed all over our faces. It burned the eyes, the inside of the mouth. The thing is, when they went to pull out the ammonia, they also pulled out their guns, and if you ran, they'd shoot. You had to endure the ammonia burning you while they laughed. Sometimes, they would make you believe they were going to shoot us all. You learn your executioners’ shifts, but not to run away from them, you learn to prepare yourself psychologically to be tortured by them. You have to survive. But you leave home ready to die.

我搬到桑托斯(Santos),畢竟,就像那首歌詞裡寫的「陽光下的悲慘比較亮(La miseré est plus légere au soleil)」。

在那裡,睡在街上,我遇到從事性工作維生的易服者(Transvestites)給我庇護、給我街上的一桿燈柱,讓我可以在角落工作,從做麵包、做披薩到成為一名性工作者。

幾乎每一天,我們都要被那個「法國男」(一名調查員)還有Abreu(一名憲兵)帶到警局去。我們因為我們的存在而遭受毆打。我們像是無法被回收的垃圾一樣被丟進警車裡。我們被要求貼著桑托斯劇院牆站成一排,我們被潑了滿臉氨水,氨水燒灼雙眼、燒灼口腔內部。當他們開氨水的時候,也開了槍的保險,如果妳逃走,他們會射殺妳。他們笑成一團的時候,妳得忍受氨水的燒灼。有時候他們會讓妳覺得他們會射殺妳們全部。妳知道這些劊子手們的輪班順序,但妳不會逃、妳準備好被他們折磨的心理。妳必須要活下來,當你踏出家門時便已準備好面對死亡了。

印嘉娜拉的自我認同是跨性別(transgender)以及易服者(transvestite)。travesti 這個字在葡語裡頭,即便原意是貶損的,已被巴西跨性別社群回收再生,目前有許多跨性別婦女自我認同為易服者。

她在1990年代搬到桑托斯,那是後天免疫缺乏症候群,(俗稱愛滋病,Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome,AIDS)在巴西蔓延的年代。她寫道,在當時「transvestigeneres 的預期壽命是25歲」—transvestigeneres 是「transgender(Transgênero)」和「transvestite(Travesti)」兩個字葡語原文的組合字。

A aids chegou.Santos era conhecida como a capital da AIDS.Disseram que eu morreria de AIDS.

Minha irmã cishetero casada com um PM morreu de Aids.Varias amigas morreram de AIDS.Variios amigos morreram de Aids.Nos chamavam de aidéticos.Nos expulsavam dos bares ,restaurantes e não nos deixavam comer com medo que comtaminassemos os talheres.Nos matavam socialmente aos poucos.Eles tinham prazer nisso.E não tínhamos a quem recorrer.

As vezes nos revoltavamos.A lider da revolta era assassinada.

Ninguém chorava por nós.Ao contrário.Para muitas famílias como é até hoje, é um alívio quando nos matam ou morremos.

AIDS came. Santos was known as the AIDS capital. They said I would die from AIDS.

My cisgender sister, who was married to a police officer, died from AIDS. Several of my friends died from AIDS. People used to call us the AIDéticos. They used to kick us out of bars, restaurants, afraid that we could contaminate the silverware. They were softly killing us socially. They had pleasure in doing so. And we didn’t have anyone to run to.

Sometimes we would revolt. The revolt leader was killed.

No one cried for us. On the contrary. To many families, as it still is today, it’s a relief when they kill us or when we die.

愛滋來訪桑托斯。大家都知道桑托斯是愛滋病的首都。大家都說我會死於愛滋。我的順性別(cisgender)好姐妹嫁了一個警察,死於愛滋。我許多朋友都死於愛滋。以前人家都叫我們「那些個得愛滋的(AIDéticos)」。他們會把我們踹出酒吧、餐廳,怕我們弄髒了銀餐具。他們溫柔地將我們從社會上殺死,而且他們對此感到喜悅。我們沒有任何人可以求助。

有些時候我們會反抗,但那個帶領反抗的人被殺死了。

沒人會為我們哭泣。相反的,就算到今天,他們殺死我們,或我們的死亡,對很多家庭(依然)可說是解脫。

Indianara during a conference for LGBT rights

印嘉娜拉參與LGBT權益會議 | 圖片來源:印嘉娜拉Facebook/經同意使用

從掙扎生存的過程中,印嘉娜拉成了一名倡議者。在1996年她是LGBT權益倡議組織提倡跨性別者有權使用自己決定自己想要的姓名的一員(這個倡議在2016年才剛被巴西法律正式取用),以及提倡讓同性伴侶的一方能夠更換成為另一方的姓氏。

她也為跨性別婦女爭取能夠在醫院留宿時被分配在女性病房。

當她為了從事性工作的LGBT族群遭受警方不當對待的情況而發聲,她成了箭靶。

 

Então um dia fui algemada em um poste em Santos enquanto o policial fazia roleta russa na minha cabeça.Eu aterrorizada tremia tanto é chorava.Pensei nos meus irmãos pequenos que dependiam de eu sobreviver nessa porra de vida,pensei nas travestis doentes que dependiam de que eu sobrevivesse. […] Sim,o barulho do tambor do revólver girando me fazia lembrar de quem dependia de mim pra viver um pouco mais,mesmo eu não sabendo se teria essa chance.Mas o barulho aterrozante do revólver me fazia lembrar que eu estava viva ainda.Ou morta,mas ainda sem saber.

So, one day I was handcuffed to a lamp post in Santos, while the police officer played Russian roulette [with the gun] against my head. I was terrified and shaking and crying. I thought about my little brothers who depended on me surviving this shitty life, I thought about the transvestites who were sick and depended on me surviving. […] Yes, the noise of the gun’s cylinder spinning made me remember those who depended on me to live a little longer, even if I myself didn’t know if I’d have the chance. But the frightening noise of the gun would remind me that I was still alive. Or dead, even if I didn’t know yet.

有一天,我被銬在桑托斯的一根燈柱上,警察把槍抵在我頭上玩俄羅斯輪盤。我嚇壞了一邊發抖一邊哭泣。我想著依靠我過著這爛日子的弟弟,我想著那些生著病、依賴我過日子的易服者們。 […]是的,左輪手槍的旋轉彈膛轉動所發出的噪音讓我想起這些依賴我而能多活幾天日子的人們,就連我自己都不知道有沒有機會再活下去。但是手槍發出的可怕噪音提醒我,我還活著-或是死了,即使我還不知道。

在這些威脅之下,有陣子印嘉娜拉把她的時間花在里約和聖保羅,一邊在支持跨性別者的組織裡頭工作,一邊規劃LGBT權益的倡議遊行。但隨著她於社群中崛起成為一方要角,警方的不當對待也越加劇烈:

Em SP a polícia colocava cocaína no carro das travestis e nas bolsas exigindo 5 mil reais pra não leva-las presas como traficantes.Muitas foram.Tinha a vida destruídas na prisão.Livres ou viravam ladras revoltadas que agrediam inclusive nós ,as amigas como se nos culpassem por não termos passado pelo mesmo.

Muitas foram presas injustamente.Algumas morreram nas prisões.

Nossa tortura tem que ser contada nas audiências públicas sobre tortura sim.

In São Paulo, the police would put cocaine on transvestites’ cars and purses demanding that they pay 5,000 Brazilian reais [1,500 US dollars] so they wouldn’t be locked up as drug dealers. Many of them were. Their lives were destroyed in jail. Once free, they would become revolt as thieves who would even attack us, their friends, as if they blamed us for not being locked up as well.

Many were unjustly arrested. Some died in prison. Our torture should be told at public hearings about torture.

在聖保羅,警察會把古柯鹼放進易服者的車子裡、皮包裡,然後跟她們索取5,000巴西雷亞爾(Brazilian reais,相當於1,500美金,或相當於台幣4萬5千元)的費用,不然就把她們當販毒者抓起來關。她們很多都被抓起來關了。坐牢毀了她們的人生。就算被釋放,她們會變成小偷、甚至也會攻擊我們自己人,好像是在怪我們沒有一樣被關。  很多人都是無辜被抓,有些就死在牢裡了。我們所受的這些虐待應該要在關於虐待的公聽會裡被公開訴說。

這些騷擾啟發了巴西跨性別社群要再更大層面地組織起來。他們組織了一個全國性的跨性別會議,且成了每年執行的活動。印嘉娜拉必須要離開巴西,但她持續譴責警方。就像她說的「未來的transvestigeneres的生活就看」她現在的行動。她最近的計畫包含特別為跨性別學生設計的大學入學考試預備課程。

A meme from her campaign says: "Come transform the city"

一則來自她的陣營的網路萬用梗( meme)「來跨轉這個城市」 | 圖片: 印嘉娜拉Facebook/經同意使用

在1992年,印嘉娜拉一個朋友Kátia Tapety,在皮奧伊(Colônia do Piauí)一個小鎮被選為市政議員,成了巴西政壇首位跨性別者,後來的選舉裡,Kátia成了那個小鎮票數最高的候選人,再後來的選舉,她被選為副市長。

24年後,巴西政壇的跨性別者比例仍舊相當低,但今年的選舉卻有打破紀錄的參選人數字。至少有80位候選人自我認同為跨性別,其中6位贏得選舉。對正在慶祝勝選的印嘉娜拉來說,這也是一個勝利:

Passamos um recado:Estamos e ficaremos em todes espaços que nos foram negado.

Essa minha suplência é uma vitória de todes corpos de transvestigeneres que tombaram por mim.Que sobreviveram por mim.Que tombaram ao meu lado.Pelos corpos que poderão dizer : Sim podemos por que elas e eles puderam.

Sou resistência.Sou resiliência.

We’ve sent a message: We are and will be in every space that has been denied from us.

My alternate seat is a victory to all the bodies of transvestigeneres that have fallen for me. That survived for me. That have fallen beside me. To the bodies that can now say yes, we can because they could.

I’m resistance. I’m resilience.

我們送出了一個訊息:我們正在,也將會出現在任何否定我們的地方。我贏得一個候補席次,這對所有為我墮落的transvestigeneres來說是個勝利,那些為我而活下來的人們、那些在我身邊殞墮的人們。[我想對]那些現在可以說Yes的人們致敬,我們的成功,奠基在他們的成功之上。

我是抵抗(resistance)。我是彈性(resilience)。

譯註:
何謂「易服者」?何謂「順性別者」?
1. 「易服者」(Transvestites)是指不否定自己的身體性別,只是透過穿著異性服裝感到性興奮,獲得性滿足的人。這並不表示他們想要改變生理性別, 所以易服者不等同於換性人(Transexuals,或稱作變性人)。當然,也有些喜歡易服的人士,不一定涉及「性」,純屬個人衣著行為及身份認同的選擇,只是與社會固定的性別模式不配合。(參考資料:http://www.djbling.asia/all/okok/
2. 「順性別者」(cisgender)是指個人的性別認同和出生時的生理性別一樣的人,與個人性別認同和出生時生理性別不一致的跨性別者(transgender)是相對應的概念。另一方面,如果個人的性別認同無法被簡單歸類為男性或女性,就可稱作「性別酷兒」(genderqueer)。(參考資料:https://www.thenewslens.com/article/27964

校對:Conny Chang

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