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加勒比海地區婦女奪回權力:透過標籤#LifeinLeggings說出遭受性暴力的真實故事

 

"Woman behind bars", from a series of anti-catcalling, pro-respect posters. Photo by flickr user Wendy, CC BY-NC 2.0.

「被監禁的女人」 圖片來自一系列反街頭調戲(anti-catcalling)、支持尊重的海報。圖片來源:flickr 用戶 Wendy, CC BY-NC 2.0

#lifeinleggings 這個強而有力、正在臉書推特上被爆量使用的網路主題標籤,讓加勒比海地區婦女獲得支持和空間來分享他們遭受性暴力的故事。這個標籤是由來自島國巴貝多(Barbados)的兩位女性所創造,他們想要讓大家知道,性騷擾是加勒比海地區文化的一部份,而且已經到了令人焦躁難受的程度;現在這個標籤已經吸引地區性的關注

這些來自各個年齡層、各個族裔、和各經濟背景婦女們所分享的經驗故事無疑是一記警鐘—這些發文,從羞辱受害者(victim-shaming)、被迫對發生的事情閉口不言,到被恐嚇威脅事件、對愛慕的錯誤表達、針對弱勢者猖獗的性虐待,以及其監護人們一貫大事化小、小事化無的作法比比皆是。

Crystal Roslyn Mary Granado回憶她的兒時創傷

#LifeInLeggings He was asked to watch the kids while Mom went to the store. I was three. He told me to come sit on his knee. I said no. You smell. He made me sit on his knee. Pulled apart my baby legs and ripped my panties off and stuck his fat calloused fingers inside of my vagina. I cried. He said he would make my mother beat me. I was afraid. I hate you.

#LifeInLeggings 媽媽出門購物的時候叫他看顧小孩。我當時三歲。他叫我坐在他腿上。我說不要,你很臭。他還是強迫我坐在他腿上。把我的小小的兩條腿分開、把我的內褲扯掉,用他肥胖長繭的手指插進我的陰道裡。我哭了。他說他會叫我媽媽揍我。我很害怕。我恨你。

她們還談到了關於活在受虐陰影之下,以及終日恐懼受辱影響自身行為等等無法卸下的終身負擔。

Cho Sundari她時時刻刻保持警覺:

#lifeinleggings Walking with my key in my hand, ready at all times to be used in self defence. Looking behind me at least 3 times before I reach my car. Checking the back seat before I open the door. Opening the door quickly, slamming myself on the seat. Shut the door and lock doors immediately. Sigh. Start ignition. Drive.

#lifeinleggings 走路的時候我手上握著鑰匙,準備隨時要拿來自我防禦。在走到我車子之前至少回頭三次檢查有無尾隨人士。確認我車內後座沒有躲人我才打開車門。迅速開門坐進車裡。立刻關門鎖門。鬆一口氣。發動引擎。開車。

有一位推特使用者在讀完所有故事的過程中吃足苦頭:

#LifeInLeggings 光只是閱讀這些文章就感覺靈魂被摧毀。有好多次我真的不能再往下讀,因為我真的忍受不了。— Fleetwood Macklemore (@ConnorBlades) 2016年11月27日

很多人說了在他們非常年幼的時候受到的傷害,下手的通常是親近的朋友或是家族成員。另外有些人說了職場騷擾事件和相應的男性特權。

中美洲國家千里達(Trinidad)的律師Justin Phelps指出,這些社群媒體上湧現的故事已經不只是一個主題標籤了,它們同時促使著人們對這個社會文化邏輯作更深度的思考:

#LifeinLeggings is the story of women AND girl children btw. A large number of the stories are of childhood events. Add the stories of our male children. Add the stories of our dead children. Measure the country's level of civilization against that. Hold that up to the debates you hear in Parliament […] the disrespect and contempt meted out on top of that. Match it against ‘civil society’ who is about ‘country first’, the police service which features negatively in many of the stories, the parents who watch and stay silent, the parents who just stupid, the deviants, the pretenders. Maybe we can muster enough energy for something other than money and vanity to ‘riot’ after all. Nah, too risky.

#LifeinLeggings 這個標籤名下的故事來自女人「也」來自女孩。這些真實故事裡很大一部分是兒童時期所發生的事件。當然也有男孩的故事和死去孩子們的故事。從這些故事來看,就可以知道我們的國家有多不文明,再拿這些故事,去比較看看,那些在議會中 […] 不尊重與鄙夷女性的辯論。拿這一切,去挑戰那些主張「國家至上」的「文明社會」人士、那些在眾多故事中形象負面的警察體系、那些只會袖手旁觀並保持靜默的愚蠢父母、那些變態、那些騙子。也許吧,也許最終我們能召集足夠的力量,不是錢也不是虛榮,來辦一場「示威抗議」。不,這太冒險了。

這些故事,透過這個主題標籤強烈地相互交織,開始描繪出加勒比海地區的強暴文化(rape culture)。一位社群媒體使用者,在臉書上一個女性主義者群組「Womantra」發文,提供了如何處理這類情況的建議:

Be gross. Today a man in the maxi [a minivan-type taxi in Trinidad] had the audacity to tell me that my p*ussy must be fat […] I LOUDLY and NAIVELY explained that it is not indeed fat, I have my period and it is soooooo heavy that I have to layer my pads creating the illusion of a hefty p*ssy. “I doh want to hear bout dat!!!” He was disgusted
Again, I had to educate him, “thats what p*ssies do!!! Thats how it prepares us to have your babies!!!” […]
The maxi is extremely quiet. It starts with a giggle. Then the entire maxi is laughing at the man's discomfort. #LifeInLeggings
Be gross. Pick up space. Attack using any and all weapons in your arsenal: cussing, humour, disgustingness, anger, shyness, needing a friend, tears…. I the Feminist Fairy grant you the power….

你得要噁心一點。今天在maxi(千里達國內一種迷你巴士型的計程車)上一個男人厚顏無恥地跟我說想必我有個肥厚的陰部 […] 我「大聲地、傻呼呼地」跟他解釋,我的陰部其實不肥厚,我的月經來了而且流量超超超超級多,多到我得用好幾層衛生棉,所以才會製造出肥胖陰部的假象啊。「我才不想聽這些!」那個男人覺得噁心。不過呢,我得教育他,「這就是女人陰部該做的事啊!這樣才能給你生孩子嘛!!!」[…] 那台迷你巴士上整個超安靜的。然後開始有一些笑聲傳出。接著整台迷你巴士都對那個男人的不自在爆笑如雷。#LifeInLeggings  你得要噁心一點、改善這個處境、用盡任何你有的武器發動攻擊:咒罵、幽默感、搞噁心、生氣、害羞、需要朋友、眼淚….作為「女性主義精靈」我給你這些力量….

女性網民大量地出聲支持這些分享故事的勇敢女人們。隨著這些證詞傾瀉而出,建立了一種姐妹相依的情感連結—太多女人能理解這種經驗了,她們自己都經歷過類似的事情。

Whitney Francois分享了一些痛苦的經驗:

#LifeInLeggings
Having a female friend in primary school who tried to kiss on lips and touch your V because she loved you.
And thats how ‘love’ was shown in her home.
To everybody.
Mind you she was 5.

#LifeInLeggings小學時,我有一個女生朋友試圖親你的嘴和摸你的陰部,因為她愛你。在她家,那就是「愛」的表現方式。各位觀眾,容我提醒你,她當時只有五歲。

#lifeinleggings Watching a friend trying to be strong after being called a sellout and a traitor and even threatened for ‘snitching’ on her bf after he raped her.
Who really betrayed whose trust?

#lifeinleggings 看著一個朋友試著堅強起來,她被稱作一個叛徒、甚至受到威脅,因為她「跟別人告密」她被男友強暴的事情。到底是誰背叛了誰的信任?

Christine Sankar 分享了一個例子,這是大多數加勒比海女性都曾經歷過的街頭騷擾

Ignoring men when they're cat-calling and calling out to you as ‘Beautiful’ ‘Sexy’ ‘Family’, and as soon as you pass them, they further disrespect you by telling you that ‘You not that nice anyways’ or ‘One day someone would f*ck that stink attitude out of you’ with some of them even going to the extent of yanking on your shoulder or following you #lifeinleggings

別理會那些在街上叫囂調戲,稱妳為「美女」、「性感寶貝」、「家人」的男人,妳經過他們的時候,他們會更囂張地蔑視妳、告訴妳「其實妳根本不怎麼樣」或是「總有一天會有人操翻妳那個爛態度」,有的甚至會得寸進尺拉妳的肩膀或跟蹤妳。#lifeinleggings

Malaika Brooks-Smith-Lowe那種不適當的舉動根本無法無天:

#lifeinleggings is having to tell a group of grown ass men to stop harassing me while I teach children in an outdoor yoga class.

#lifeinleggings 必須叫那群已經長大的王八蛋男人們,停止在我在戶外為孩童們進行瑜伽教學時騷擾我。

Antonya Pierre 對此表示同意

#Lifeinleggings. When ‘Good morning beautiful’ is no longer a pleasant greeting or compliment because it is usually the preamble for some form of harassment.

#Lifeinleggings. 「早安美女」已不再是一種令人開心的招呼或是褒獎,因為那通常就是某種騷擾開始前的哨聲。

大部分的網民都很讚賞這個主題標籤的創造者,認為「該是時候打破這個(不敢討論性暴力問題的)禁忌了」,不過一名年輕女性好奇為何這個活動是被賦予性別的—因為在標籤中的「leggings」是指女性服飾裡的緊身內搭褲,她認為男性一樣也會是性暴力受害者。

隨著這個主題標籤的傳播,也有一些人呼籲男性為此事表達支持。很多男性這麼做了—但其他的試圖大事化小小事化無淡化這些事件,並試圖讓這些婦女們的證詞失效。這些意見遭到快速又強烈的反彈,特別是很多男人們常用女人的穿著打扮合理化性暴力。

Denica Shute 這邊講得很清楚

‘Women are deserving of respect regardless of what we wear and we refuse to subscribe to the notion that men simply cannot help themselves to sexually harass or abuse a woman because of what she is wearing.’
#lifeinleggings

不管我們穿什麼,女人都值得被尊重,我們拒絕同意「男人天性就是會因為女人的穿著而管不了自己去性騷擾或虐待女人」的這種論點。#lifeinleggings

Raeesa Francis-Ochoa 補充說明:

Men who have an issue with the hashtag #LifeInLeggings are the reason why this hashtag exists.
In 2016, why is it still not okay for a woman to vent about the abuse at experienced from childhood to adulthood which still affect her daily and she may never be fully healed?
Additionally, why are women also finding issues with the hashtag? Just because you don't have an experience or feel like sharing your own, doesn't mean you can be Petty Patty and stop others from participating in the trend.

這個主題標籤#LifeInLeggings之所以存在,就是因為那些現在對這個主題標籤有意見的男人們。這是西元2016年,為什麼女人不應該吐露這些從小到大都遇過的、至今仍深受其影響的受害經驗?這些傷口甚至可能永遠不會復原!此外,為何連女人們也對這個主題標籤有意見?就因為妳沒有經驗過相同的事情,或是因為妳不想分享妳的經驗,並不代表妳可以做一個小肚雞腸的人然後阻止別人參與這個活動。

的確,大部分人都同意,加勒比海地區男孩們社會化過程中需具備的男子氣概(machismo),是這個強暴文化問題的一環。

一個千里達國家的男性用#lifeinpants這個主題標籤發文寫下他對#lifeinleggings這個標籤的感想,「將全部的男性捲入一場社會暴行裡」,這下危機態勢升高了。他的發文後來被移除。女人們的反擊充滿了震驚與厭惡。

Rhoda Bharath 回應

#LifeInLeggings: When from hairless babies to balding grannies get raped, but you feel attacked by a hashtag.

#LifeInLeggings: 從沒頭髮的小嬰兒到沒頭髮的老奶奶都遭受過性侵害,而你卻覺得你被一個主題標籤攻擊。

Carima Nemai 發文

#lifeinleggings made it as easy and common to demonize men as it has been easy and common over the years to objectify and sexually assault women. #whenthetablesareturned yes feel uncomfortable, and feel attacked and feel responsible even if you aren't, most importantly FEEL!
Obviously not every man is guilty and not every woman would have been a victim, but the rape culture is bigger than every one of us! See and feel that!

#lifeinleggings 這個主題標籤讓妖魔化男性變得跟過去多少年來,物化女性、性攻擊女性一樣又簡單又日常。#whenthetablesareturned 風水輪流轉,去感受到不舒服吧!去感受到被攻擊吧!去感受到該負起責任,即使你並不需要!最重要的是,「去!感!受!」很明顯不是每個男人都有罪,也不是每個女人都是受害者,但是這個強暴文化比我們任何一個人的遭遇都還要嚴重!去看!去感受!

Dion Boucaud 表示

You cannot decry a legitimate movement by making the issue somehow about yourself and then, when you are called on your bullshit, berate and chastise everyone […] who disagrees with you. Then today you're crying oppression, stating that you're attacked by perceived feminist because they don't agree with your useless opinion. All that makes you is a special kind of stupid.

你不能譴責一個合法的運動,把這個議題弄的好像跟你自己有關,然後你那些瞎話被拿出來戰,你就訓斥、懲罰所有反對你的人。然後今天你在那邊說你被壓迫,說你被覺醒的女性主義者攻擊,就因為她們不同意你那沒用的觀點。你今天會這樣都是因為那天賦異稟的愚蠢。

Photographer Mark Lyndersay 也說

The #lifeinleggings hashtag is a challenge for men. Some to confront the horror of these stories, others to know their place and to understand that these are women's stories to tell, whatever their tone and sentiment. […]
These stories are about a line ignored, crossed and trampled on.
If you are a man, read them without making it about you.

這個 #lifeinleggings 主題標籤對男人來說是個挑戰。有些人去面對這些故事裡的駭人,有些去明白他們的立場、去理解這就是女人得說出來的真實故事,不管裡頭語氣怎樣、不管情緒怎樣。這些故事是關於一系列被遺忘的、被忽略、被踐踏的人們。如果你是男人,去讀這些故事,然後別想把這些故事變得好像是你的故事。

這個主題標籤幫助啟動了一個早就應該被討論的地方對話,而從這些故事中我們已經得到一些重要的教訓—這個地區性的強暴文化已被傳承了數個世代;受害者的沈默只會讓加害者更有力量;最重要的是,透過教育立法,會讓更多女孩和女人能夠免於性暴力的創傷。


校對:Conny Chang

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